A man walks into a bar and says "ow"; he stepped on a nail sticking up through one of the floorboards. He then sues the bartender for a large sum of money because of the injury he sustained, and causes the bartender to lose everything he owns in order to pay off his debt.

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Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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Why was the chocolate black? It's not black you idiot, its white

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whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

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a. why? b. because I wanted

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding worms in your stool.

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

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So a man walks into a bar, right?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was struck by a car and killed instantly by the impact.

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Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

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Whats Brown and Sticky A) a stick

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whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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