Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

A man walks in to a bar, Has a drink, and leaves.

How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

What did lil' Bobby get for christmas? Cancer.

What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

Why did the chicken cross the road ( The chicken says) I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having morals questioned.

Why did the boy's house get destroyed? It was bombed.

Last year my wife ran away with my best friend. I really miss him.

two peanuts walked into a bar they both sat down and immediately left once they found out the bar was serving peanuts.

What's upside down? umop apisdn

Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

Knock knock whose there alzheimers alzheimers who get in the van

Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

What did the dog do in the phone booth? Nothing, as dog do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grip objects. The previous user must have left the door open and the dog walked in, only to leave a few moments later.

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

Yo momma was so ugly that everybody died.

Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

Q:What do you call a black priest? A: A great quality volunteer at a local church.

Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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