What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer What did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that far

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

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Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

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how do you kill a blond? there are many ways but every one of them is illegal and could be criminally chargeable.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

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why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

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Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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What happened to the little girl who fell into the lake? She was rescued and made a complete recovery.

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Why did the blonde leave the lamp on while sleeping? Because it helps to see in case you need to get up in the middle of the night. YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SAY "BECAUSE THEY'RE A LIGHT SLEEPER!" MUAHAHAHAHAHA

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

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Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

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Why was the man burying his child? because in france, fishing is only allowed 3 times a day

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Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

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Person 1: want to hear a joke? person 2: yes.

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Q:Whats 2+2? A: 4

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

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What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophob? a blowjob

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Why did the boy cry after baseball practice? He was molested by his coach.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops