Why don't birds cry when they get hurt, lose a loved one, or watch opera? How the f*** should I know.

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This will be the least popular anti-joke. Dislike this joke.

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What do an eagle and a mole have in common? They both fly, except for the mole.

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What's heavier: a kilogramme of steel or a kilogramme of feathers? A kilogramme of steel, because steel is heavier than feathers.

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A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment was left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your Grandmother died.

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What did the radiator say to the carpet? Nothing, a radiator is an inanimate object, and therefore is unable to speak.

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A man walks into a bar and says "ow"; he stepped on a nail sticking up through one of the floorboards. He then sues the bartender for a large sum of money because of the injury he sustained, and causes the bartender to lose everything he owns in order to pay off his debt.

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What is an anti joke? It's jokes about jews, blacks, and walking out of bars LIKE AN IRISHMAN

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Why did the college student post unfunny anti-jokes on anti-joke.com? Because he was bored shitless.

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Boy: Why'd the chicken cross the road Mom: I don't know go ask the chicken

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Hey have you seen Stevie wonders house? No? Don't worry he has'nt either.

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hello

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Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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Why was the chocolate black? It's not black you idiot, its white

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whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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