How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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what's 2 + 2 ? 4, unless you add it up wrong.

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what do you call the quadriplegic man who went water skiing? Skip

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Women's rights.

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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What do you call an apple in a washing machine? My lunch!

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I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

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Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7? A. Because 7 was a scary dude.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Walk to the corner store to buy one.

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What happened to the boy who ate too much? He got type 2 diabetes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was at a crosswalk and the walk light was on.

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yo mama is so fat she has more rolls than basken robins does flavors

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Roses are red Im adopted

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why did the money fall out of the tree... because he was dead

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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How dis the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

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What does the Priest say to the little boy? Size doesnt matter

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Because 6 was registered as a sex offender

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to one tree? nailing 1 baby to ten trees.

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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rock-a-bye baby on the treetop When the wind blows The bass will drop!

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Rap. Skate. Smoke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops