How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

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Why did the director call cut? Because he was shot dead by Nazis.

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting Cancer.

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What did the Banana say to the human. Nothing, because bananas are not capable of talking

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What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

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I'm a burrito... With a big shirt.

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Why did the bus drop his icecream? He was hit by a boy

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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A woman went for a midnight jog. She's been missing for 12 years now.

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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How did the Mexican got into the USA? Trough the border.

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Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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Why did the blond cross the road? She needed to get to the shop as she'd run out of milk.

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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