A man and a six year old boy are walking along a path through the woods on a moonless night. "Gee mister, I'm scared!" says the boy. "You're scared?" says the man. "I have to walk back alone!"

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"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

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What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

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Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

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Why doesn't Jonathan Walk across the road? Because he is in a wheelchair...

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Why can a black man beat a white man in basketball? They are generally better at basketball Why cant a black man beat a KKK member in basketball? He valued his life and didnt want to die

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What's white and black and red all over A nun with a spear throug her head

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What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

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WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

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Let's say you're inside a building and you are lost. You need to find directions to get out. But the building is so big almost like a maze or labyrinth. You start walking until you see 2 doors and each door is guarded by a man. Now in between the 2 doors is a message on the wall. It says: "Dear friend, I assume that you are lost and want to get out. There is hope! You have an option to choose one of these doors guarded by these men. You may ask one of these men which door leads to freedom. However, 1 guard ALWAYS tells a lie and 1 guard ALWAYS tells the truth. If you are to choose the wrong door, you will be locked in the building forever. So choose wisely and ask the right question. Good luck! Sincerely, the owner of the building." So you think to yourself and try to figure out what the hell did you get yourself into. This is a very tricking situation. You have one liar and one honest man. How can you tell which is lying and with is telling the truth? After minutes of confusion and thinking, you have finally decided to ask one guard a question. ----spoiler alert----- So you ask the guard one question. "What would the other guard say is the door to freedom?" The guard said "This door" You choose the opposite door and you are now free. The End [Explanation: You have 2 doors. Let's say door A is losing and door B is winning. If you ask the liar what would the other guard say, he we lie and say door A. So you pick the opposite door, which door B and you win. Now if you ask the truth teller what would the other guard say, he we tell the truth and say the same answer, door A. So you pick the opposite door and win]

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

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Why couldn't Cait walk her dog? She's been paralyzed from the waist down since she was 5 after her and her parents got into a car accident and her parents died.

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what happened to the man that no one cares about? No one cares

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why was the 6 year old boy crying? his mother had just passed away from terminal cancer and his stepdad caught him crying so he kicke hm in the face and told him to man up.

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What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

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Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

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Why did hitler cause the holocaust? YOLO

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Why can't Helen Keller just kidding she's dead

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What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

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What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

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xCh3wyy is the biggest fail in the entire universe. If you head to www.youtube.com/xxch3wyyxx You will see how much he fails. Please dislike his horrible video and tell him to suck a prick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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