A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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a cat gets mauled by a dog. it died later that day

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Why'd The Little Kid Drop His Ice Cream Cone? Because He Witnessed His Mom get Raped in front of his house by the man driving the ice cream truck and the realized that he was licking frozen semen......

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Why did a white man get kicked out of the Olympics 2012¿ Because he did not have down syndrome

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How many blondes does it take to finish a math test? 1 if she isn't copying.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guitar who? Violin.

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How old was the baby when it took its first steps? That question is impossible to answer due to the fact the parents had an abortion and the fetus remained unborn.

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Knock knock who's threre me, I kill you

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Why did the white girl become a lesbian? Because she was raped and had no more trust in the male gender.

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A: I accidentally shot my sister with a rifle! B: you don't have a sister? A: exactly

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What did one skeleton say to the other? Nothing... Skeletons don't have vocal cords

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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Knock-Knock Whos there? You You who? Yoohoo! is anybody home?!! Well obviously or i wouldn't have talked to you. Idiots these days!

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Why did I laugh at a joke? Cuz it was funny

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Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

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how did the kenyan get away from the cop He didnt he got arrested

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what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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some kid told me pink dolphin clothiing was nigged, so i took an eraser , gave it to his sister and beat the poop out of hiis car ON A THURSDAY!!!!!!

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How many sheets did the Asian want on his bed? "You sheet on my bed I kill you!"

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roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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Why didn't the door open? Because it was locked

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What happens if you drop an yellow shirt into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

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Your mother is so fat, we needs two fat jokes to adequatly make fun of her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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