Q: What's black and hangs from a tree? A: A tire swing.

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I'm Polish.

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A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

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How do you get five black men in a car? You offer them a good deal, then show them the car fax.

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Whats really ugly and horny Jake's mom

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If the goverment wants us to be eco friendly then why are the eco friendly cars so expensive?

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What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

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A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head. The man asks the bartender, "Why does that guy have a big orange head?" The bartender replies," If you buy him a beer, maybe he'll tell you." So the man buys a beer and gives it to the man with the big orange head and asks why he has a big orange head. The man says, "One day I found a genie and my first wish was to be the richest man in the world, my second wish was to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and for my third wish, I told the genie,'Ya know, why don't you give me a big orange head."

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A man works at a Doritos factory hes worked there for a few weeks and hes made the most Doritos in his line now and the head of the company gives him a promotion he now runs his own line a few months later the head of the company bob comes back to him and promoted him again to now our friend Carl is head of the Factory about two years later bob comes to Carl and hes promoted to head of the east coast he is head of 27 Factories about a decade later bob asks Carl if when he retires Carl will take over the company and he accepts bobs offer 23 years pass and bob retires Carl is the new head of the company so he is about like 65 at this point and he wants some wine so him and his buddies go for some wine Dan says Carl this lines two long so they decide to have some soda and then Jason says this lines longer then the last one so Aiden says to Carl why don't we go get some punch so they all got into line but there was no punch line a.w. j.p.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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What do you call a fish with no eye? Blind.

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what did the poor guy get for christmas POVERTY

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What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

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Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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