your mom is so fat that she had to start going to a gym to exercise and get her weight under control.

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There was once a little boy who started feeling sick. His mother gave him some soup. He died anyway.

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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A black man walks into a store with a ski mask on... what does he do?? he buys skiis.

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Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

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Knock-Knock Whos there? You You who? Yoohoo! is anybody home?!! Well obviously or i wouldn't have talked to you. Idiots these days!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

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A deaf man is listening to the radio. Think about it.

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what happened to the chicken who crossed the road he didn't realize that the light was green

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A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

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Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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Person 1: Why does food from Subway taste so good? Person 2: I don't know, why? Person 1: Because their ingredients are fresh. Person 2: Um, OK? Person 1: Yeah, it's all under 18. Person 2: Shit...

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Why did the boy fall? He got tackled by a man that was 400 pounds.

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Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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What's worse than finding a worm on your apple? Trench foot on your eyebrow.

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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Q: How many hair styles do celebreties induce annualy? A: I have no clue but I'm pretty sure that's a midget defacing your house!

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What happens when you turn the TV on? You watch it.

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what happened to the frog that had a car accident, nothing it's dead

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Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

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How did the black guy survive the bus crash? At the time of the bus crash, it was a segregated community, therefore no black people were allowed on buses.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops