Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's hard to tell, but i could really use a cigarette.

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A baby walks into a bar and the bartender says.... Where is your mom?

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what did the man say to his cat? sex. -teagan doherty

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I fear I do, maybe someone fooled you, but that was originally one of my aliases.

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What did Justin beiber get for Christmas? A dildo.

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Where did the kid go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew. The pizza doesn't scream in the fire

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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Roses are red violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in the zoo! But don't you worry I'll be there too! But not in the Ill be laughing at you

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Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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What do u call 2 black people in the front of a car 3 in the back and 2 on top of the car going off a clif? A waste u can fit 2 more in the trunk

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If you are reading this you are a nerd

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what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

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Why didn't Jane text James? Because she was kidnapped.

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What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage.

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why did the black man drink grape kool-aid kool-aid refreshed him after a hard days work out in the field picking cotton

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i am an arrow and i did not hit your knee!f

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This is my favorite antijoke.

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A priest and a rabbi attempt to take a whale to a bar. But due to the enormous size and the need for water, the whale couldnt come.

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how do i know if my husband is cheating? beat him until he tells you

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What do a black man and a dog have in common? They're both going to die some day.

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How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops