What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

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What do you do when you see a half-dead black man on the floor? Call an ambulance before he bleeds out causing sepsis.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Why did the penis cross the road? Because a man was humping the chicken

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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How do you make a hormone? Modify bacteria using recombinant DNA technology.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? AIDs.

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Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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What do you call a black man at KFC? A customer.

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

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What can you tell by a black guy who walks into a bank with a ski mask on? His face was severely disfigured in a horrific accident.

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A child walks into a bar. He finds to find his dad passed out in his vomit, the bartender realizes the dad left the kid in the car, and he is arrested. The kid grows up traumatized by the experience, and becomes a substance abuser just like his dad.

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I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

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Q. Why hasn't LeBron won a ring? A. Throughout his career, he has been placed with incapable teammates, thus leading to unsuccessful results. However, recently, he has been placed with individuals valid pod achieving such a goal.

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whats flat and useless? the walls of an abandoned house where land prices are increasing and properties are in high demand

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What did the girl say to her ex? Fuck you.

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1 111111 1 1 11111111111 1 1 111111 1

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69

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Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

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Shelly tells Rob to go home... Thats what she said

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

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Q: What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? A: Shoveling them out with a pitchfork.

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why did the monkey fall? he got hit by a train

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops