What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?"

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Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open it up and stick him in. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Take out the elephant and put in the giraffe.

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In order to find a woman, you need time and money. Woman=Time&Money The longer you spend at work, the more money you get. Time=Money Money is the root of most problems in the world today. Money=Problems Therefore Women=Problems

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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So, Helen Keller walked into a bar....and then a stool, and then a counter, and then a table....

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how did the snake fly? it couldnt snakescant fly

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Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

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What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

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Yo Mama's so fat when she fell out of the tree she hit the ground very, very hard.

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yo mama is so fat, she's obeise

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Q.How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb A.Babies are to young to screw in lightbulbs

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

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What did the cop say to his belly? "Hey in there!"

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what will hit the ground first an apple or Obama The apple, obama was stopped by a rope

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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An Irishman walks into a bar.....Duh.

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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when life throws you lemons you should probably get out of the way because it will hurt

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i'm an inbred jew - Barras

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A blonde walks into a bar therefore her face hurts

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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