Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? Boyscouts came back from camp

What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

Nero, I can barely stay awake, can we chat more later today though? I would really enjoy that, and sleep before that.

A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

Okay, you seem sincere enough, thing is that I trust you, but your buddies, if you can vouch for them, then I at least know that you are putting your stepmother in danger if you decide to cover for your friends, besides you being such an emotional crybaby kinda gets me into trusting you again.

What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

What is the difference between a black man and a piece of fried chicken? Fried chicken is a breaded meal that is high in calories whereas a black man is an unedible human being with feelings.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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