If you have a stroke, call 000

a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability

Why didn't the black boy get any presents from Santa? Because he isn't real.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

why can't Amy ride on the rollercoaster? Because she's under the height limit.

What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

Why did Adolf Hitler Start WWII and kill millions of Jews? Because he was a poweful dictator

Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

What did the Banana say to the human. Nothing, because bananas are not capable of talking

Why was the man lying under a sheet. Because he was dead.

"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

The New York Giants

What is white, average height and cannot jump as high as a black man? A fridge.

two men write a poem one says quack the other says woof what is the middle of the number witch is amazing because who ever is reading this you are beautiful and have chucken food ion your cheek bone connected to the knee cap indeed i shall write on to you guys saying how lovley it is TO MAKE FIRENDS WITH CHICKENS

Why did little Sammy die of boredom? The WNBA was on

Whats black and white and red all over? A dead zebra

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

What's worse than eating spinach? Dying.

Maroon 5 to a bitch: Cross my heart and hope to die... wait why don't i just kill you bitch!

Whats faster than a mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...