What's the same between a grape and an airplane? they both have wings but the grape doesn't

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whats worse than ur granny dying? uhhh...actually theres nothing is worse

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What happens to a banana after it gets sunburnt? It peels.

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How do you make a tissue dance? You give it dance lessons.

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What did the convicted pedophile do to the ten year old boy? He molested him.

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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Why couldn't the pirate go to the movies? He had scheduling conflicts

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Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

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Dwarf Shortage

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

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what's worse then the holocaust finding a worm in your apple.

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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Why did the magician die when he tried to escape from the handcuffs underwater? Because he drowned and failed his magic trick.

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The man said to his wife love hurts. the wife then progressed with punching in the face.

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I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

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Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

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What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

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Roses are red Violets go poo My name is Dave How bout u

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How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops