Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

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How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

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Jesus Christ

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a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

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Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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What did the black man do to the white woman? I Dont KNow ask him

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Knock Knock. Hello Frank! How'd you know it was me? There is a window next to the door.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

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whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

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What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

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What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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Knock Knock! Who is there? Me. Let me in. Oh, okay, Come in.

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A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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A bear walks into a bar. Everyone evacuates as animal control safely asses the situation.

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The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

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Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

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What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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