A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

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Why didn't Suzie ride her bike? Suzie's mother aborded her. She was never born.

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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Why did the black man go to jail? Because he committed a criminal offense.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody is here, nobody would ever want to knock on the door of you. Yes, you. You reading these awful jokes.

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KNOK KNOK WHOES THERE APPLE APPLE WHO SEE THIS IS Y U BROKE UP

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What do you call a black man sitting on a porch? Relaxed.

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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James got up from the couch, forgetting what he got up for he asked his girlfriend, Mary: "What did I get up for again?" Mary replied "To get your medicine for your amnesia."

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what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

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Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

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why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

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What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

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What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

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Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black had a baby, would it be a boy or a girl? It's a fifty-fifty shot.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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Yo momma so fat she couldn't even fit in a house

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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