An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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A cheerio gets a job at McDonalds and after working for a while, he gets employee of the month and goes to the district ball. While there, he meets a female(frosted) cheerio whom he asks out. She refuses because she only dates frosted cheerios. So, the male goes back to work for the next year, and his boss is happy with his work, so he asks him if he would like anything. The cheerio says yes, i want to be frosted. The boss says ok, i'll make you frosted, so now that he's frosted, he goes back to the ball. He asks the same female cheerio out, she says yes this time. He then asks her if she wants something to drink, she says yes. She wants some milk. So the guy stands in line for about 15 minutes, when he gets to the front, there is no more milk left. So he asks her if she would like some tea. she says yes. So he goes and stands in line for another 15 minutes only to find out there is no more tea. So then he asks her if she would like some punch, shesays yes. So after an hour of searching, he finds out there is no punchline......

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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An eleven year old boy walks into a bar... he is searching for his father, who has a known alchol problem, and has been missing for five days.

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What did the homeless man get for his 34th birthday? 34 years of regret.

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So, a Bobcat walks into a bar. A few moments later, the bar was empty, save a bobcat and two critically wounded men.

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Try not to laugh at this joke... Knock knock Who's there? Ha ha ha Ha ha ha who? I told you not to laugh

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Why was i sad when 4 black people in a cadillac fell over a cliff. The car blew up...

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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Why was the Magic: The Gathering player a virgin? Because he was underage and it would have been immoral for him to have had sex.

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Wht did noah7262 cross the road? to abandon his friends and play Modern Warfare 3 on xbox live. asshole.

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If pro is the opposite of con what's the opposite of progress? Retrogression.

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Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

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Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

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Whats the difference between males and females? fe

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

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Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

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Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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Q: What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee and a zebra. A: A crossover between a chimpanzee and a zebra, mixed together.

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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