ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

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What do you call sad communities that have to share resources? Communists.

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What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

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Why did I laugh at a joke? Cuz it was funny

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if i get 1,000 likes ill kill your hole family

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What page are you on The gay page.

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What did the chipmunk say to the nut? I'm gonna eat you.

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What did the cat say when someone pointed out that cats can't talk? Meow.

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What's Black, white, green, and red? To bloody zebras fighting over a pickle

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Why is mario red? His mother beat him as a child.

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how did the kenyan get away from the cop He didnt he got arrested

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt.

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roses are red, violets are blue, open your legs and give me an hour.

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what happened to the man that got shot.... He died.. 3 secs after

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If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

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why did the black guy buy magnum condoms? because his white friend knew the cashier and thought it would be awkward for himself to buy them.

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why don't asians use this finger (point at pinky)? because it's my finger.

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Roses are black. Violets black. Guns are black. My van is black.

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen Beatle? Two in the front, two in the back, and one hundred in the ash tray.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have alzheimers, cheese on toast.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Postman Will you sign hear please he said Oh my toaster came

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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