you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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Happy Birthday! Your mom is dead!

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Why are women such horrible drivers? Their hair gets in the way.

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Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Betty Betty Who Betty Sue Never heard of ya I'm here from the management. You have a present. I don't care, we don't take kindly to you city folks. But Sir, If you don't take this I will have to ask you to leave. Well what is it. It's your bill. Knock knock Who's there? Cowabunga! Cowabunga Who? Moo Moo alalalalalal woohoo i'm so high

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A dead guy walks into a grave.

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What did a husband do when he came home to find his wife murdering their children? Nothing. There is no excuse for domestic violence.

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what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

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We are not even in the same country, and my eye becomes infected two times a minute or something so I wont be going anywhere. I mean, if you are some guy trying to be a girl in order to screw with me, let me first of all thank you for our exchange of ideas and concepts, and then say that if you are a guy, that likes other guys, then... Well, lets just say that if you are a man, that I don`t speak with men in general, takes away time I can spend with the ladies.

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Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

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everyone dislike the first joke on page one

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What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

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What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

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what did eric foreman get for christmas? a foot in his ass.

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- Why the black people smell? - To let even the blind person hate them.

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why did the black guy talk to the monkey? they were in the same cage.

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Knock Knock No solicitors

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What makes my fourth grade librarian hot? The fact that I set her on fire

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How did the cat get outside? It fell out the window

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I am back with more jokes! -Lets go Mets It is best to dislike this one

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Q: Whats better than not being a Jew? A: Being a Jew.

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Stop making 9/11 jokes their just plane unfunny

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Why was the man denied access to the college Because he did not have good grades in the past.

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Obama One Big Ass Mistake America

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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