if you have 2 apples and 3 oranges in one hand, and 4 oranges and 1 apple in the other, what do you have? very large hands.

What do you call a black man with a brain injury? Mentally Disabled

If dogs hate cats and cats hate mice, than what do mice hate? Themselves.

Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

What did the black guy say to the white guy? Hi!

A man cooks dinner almost every night even though his wife is the better cook, and the man is in charge of the household. Why? Because the man isnt a sexist douchebag.

Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Just kidding, he didn't cross the road, he had no legs.

What do you get when two black men walk into a bar? A few salesmen celebrating their recent pay raise.

I have a dirty joke. Yesterday I fell in the mud.

What do trees and people have in common? If you hit them enough times with an axe they will fall over.

gabe sucks 8-------------------D~

Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

Why didn't the lady answer the phone? She is deaf and mute.

Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

What's green and brown, and if it fell out of a tree on you it would kill you? A billiard table?

What did the White guy say to the balck guy? "How are you?"

What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

What was a hard time for people? the great depression

what did Charlie Sheen say after he won a game of chess? I just won a game of chess!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

so a man walks into a bar and Cancer

Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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