What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

What is Colder than a witch's tit? Not much. It was removed for biopsy and kept in the pathology freezer. At absolute zero.

why did the monkey fall? he got hit by a train

Q: what did batman say to robin before they got into the car? A: get in the car (:

Why was the women not in the kitchen? Because she was probably doing something else

Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

You: Did u hear the one about that guy walking into a bar? Them: No. You: He said it hurt

a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

What do you call a man who only eats fast food? Unhealthy.

What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked

Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

what do you call a dog with no legs. It dosent matter it wont come

silver bullet?

why do muslims always turn to their left? Because they don't have their rights.

why does clive keep getting crunk? because no girl satisfies him as much as geros

from south park what do u call a jew on a rope no one ever said the answer, so my answer is a jew on a rope.

Why did the chicken cross the road? If i knew, I'd tell you.

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all broke beyond repair.

What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because earlier that day, the chicken was taking a shiit, and when he went to wipe, there was no toilet tissue, so he ran upstairs to his parents room, and shot them both with a shotgun, then he ate them while they were still gasping for air, then the neighbors heard the gunshots so they came over to make sure everything was alright, but little did they know that the chicken planned for it and they were electricuted to a crisp by the fence, oh yeah, why did the chicken cross the road? Because the store for chips was across the street

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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