Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

Why do Jews fast for Yom Kippur? It's part of their tradition.

Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

Death by kayak

What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

What do Australians and New Zealanders have against pods anyway?

How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was simply wandering around and happened to walk from one side of the road to the other.

Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

How do you tickle a tree? you dont you are a schizo stop kicking leaves

Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

One day a black guy bought some fried chicken. The clerk said: Lol you guys always eat chicken! Lol said the black guy, yeah I am here a lot. Clerk: No I meant your kind of you know... I KNOW WHAT? Clerk: You guys at the studio next door! Oh, yeah, lol I almost thought you meant my skin color! Clerk: You fucking Negroes always thinking we are racist...

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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