Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

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what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill Exercise

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Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

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POOP.....People Order Our Patties

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When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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why was the boy mad? He had a lot of homework that evening

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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2 doctors are talking to each other: -Dead? -Dead.

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roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

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Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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