Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

An innocent man's home was raided by police, who accused him of grand theft auto. It turns out it was just a case of mistaken identity.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

This sentence will not end the way you octopus.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti-Joke.com Post anonymously with no editing!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was raped when i was little.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's a Mexican's favourite sport? Cross-country running.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a person with 4 arms? A normal person. (fore arms) (meant to be audible)

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

LISTEN UP PEEPS, I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU MY PASSWORD.. just as shown on screen THIS IS IT: ******* YEP just as shown on screen

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the girl crying? Because I raped her

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have 2 legs

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do a bike and a duck have in common? They both have handlebars except for the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you get if you put 2 Korea, 2 Europeans and 2 North Americans together? TSM

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Speaker 1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Speaker 2: Why? Speaker 1: Every member of your immediate, nuclear, and extended family simultaneously contracted Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) while being beaten, maimed, raped, tortured, and molested by a deranged serial killer during the sinking of the Titanic, eventually bleeding to death and allowing child rapists to eat their dead bodies.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

one day a bear was eating for winter he ate about half what he had to and said "Im tired ill take a nap and eat the rest later. one month later he died of starvation

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did Lucy fall off the swing? She had no arms and legs Knock knock Who's there? Not Lucy

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks into a bar, He is a severe alcoholic and is slowly drowning himself in booze. The man exits the bar after several hours of heavy drinking and walks home. He enters his home to discover a man in bed with his wife. After the first ten seconds of paralyzing rage, he grabs a .44 Magnum and brutally murders his wife and her bed mate. The man realizes he has woken up his two month old, and after thinking of the horrible act he has committed, he promptly raises the pistol to his temple and pulls the trigger. Oh, I almost forgot, the man was schizophrenic and has never been married.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Once there was an English man, A Scottish man and an Irsh man. They were all in a scenario where each of them had to undetake a task. The English man and the Scottish man undertook their task without any problems, but the Irish man was confused resulting in a hilarious outcome.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A white man, a black man, and an Arab man are standing in a room. Who stole your wallet? No one, you suffer from ALS and therefore do not carry a wallet because you have no way in which to use it. To top it all off your medical bills are so high that your family would be financially better if you were to die and your dream of being an entrepreneur is slipping away as you realize that pitching an idea is difficult in a monotonous drone.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is brown and lives in a toilet? A black homeless man

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They scolded her and sent her to her room.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops