Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

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If I had a nickel for every time I heard that... I'd most likely have no money as I would spend it all on cocaine.

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What do you call a group of black men stampeding down a hill? Dangerous, so they should slow down!

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Why is the baby not crying? Because it died of herpes. JUST KIDDING! Babies can't get herpes.

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Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

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What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

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Women's Rights

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God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

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Forget about them, do not compare yourself to those beneath you, you always wanted to help as many as possible, in a world where everyone fights for themselves only.

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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do you know what was a good idea? not last night

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Why didn't Sebastian get out of the forest? Because he got brutally murdered by a big bad wolf

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what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

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What's similar between the Alabama Crimson Tide and a maggot? They've both been feeding off of a dead Bear for 30 years...

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Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? the pigment in their skin.

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Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

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What is a black, yellow like liquid that contains carbon dioxide, usually kept in a can, and is not coke? Pepsi.

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an irishman an american and a jihadist get a plane were did they go right through my house

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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knock knok Who's there The police, I regret to inform you your son was killed in a horrific traffic accident

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A kid who lost parents is called an orphan and a wife who lost her husband is called a widow. What do you call parents who lost their child? Free on the Weekends.

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PICKLES

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What happened to your face It got hit by a bus By cheyenne

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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