What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

How do you make a pool table laugh? You cant it is'nt a living thing which means emotions.

i saw amango it splootered

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. The one stopped because the other fell off the bead and died.

Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

You know what he said? How did you know what he said?

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because skeletons don't get invited to parties because they are the remains of something that is dead and that would be a very ood thing to have at a party.

An Asian with a big dick.

why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

Why did the gay man buy a prius? because it is a very fuel efficient car and will save him a lot of money of gas

What did the no-arm, no-leg, paraplegic orphan with cancer get for christmas? Pregnant.

why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? Pizza does not scream when it goes in the oven.

Why couldn't the Jew get pregnant? Because he was man.

How do you make a hormone? Modify bacteria using recombinant DNA technology.

what do you call a black person who flies a plane? a pilot, you racist

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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