What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

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What do you call it when an old person cuts off their fingers? Dementia

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra

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Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

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Do You Know You Have Cancer?

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1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

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Why was the clown in red shoes wearing skis? Because he likes to ski in red shoes, and he's a clown

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

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A black man, Jew and a Mexican go camping. A bear wanders into their campsite, but upon seeing them runs away because it's afraid of humans.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

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A gay guy asks a boy out and a girl The girl said no but the guy said yes And the two gay guys went to dinner And made out

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What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

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How did the Jew survive the holocaust? He didn't, he died.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? Ching Ching Who? No...Ching Smith you racist!

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My cat just died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops