Roses are red violets are purple what the hell happened to your ugly face

Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

Why couldn't the white guy tell the two asians apart? They were identical twins.

What did the cow say when he saw his family get murdered? Moo.

a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer, the bartender quickly takes out a shot gun and shoots the horse because he is secretly dealing horse meat to tescos

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Presents.

Person 1: Happy Halloween! Person 2: Hey, I'm Jewish

Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

whats the difference between ebola and a can of dead babies? i have ebola. this isnt funny at all.

5 Italian guys from Long Island

When u send someone fudge, u must send a note along with it! Roses are red Violets are blue Fudge is brown Here's some fudge

Why does the black man take drugs. Because he is very sick.

How do you say hooker in Chinese? ?

Why did the chicken cross the road?? So he could tell me to tell this joke to everybody and therefore prevent the universe from exploding

My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

Why was the ghast from minecraft crying? His family died

Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender? A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car 2 hours later your brother finds you and told you that him and your wife have been cheating on you and your kid is his.

What did the african child get for christmas? Abducted.

How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

The people who posted those extremely long "jokes" down there have no life.

What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...