In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

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What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

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9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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what did the duck say to the monkey.............. QUACK!!!!!!!!

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If Jewish men light a menorah during Hanukkah, what do Jewish women light? Jewish women light a menorah as well; Judaism is a relatively fair religion to both sexes.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Feminine hygiene jokes aren't funny. Period

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

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Why did the Salesman leave the leper colony? He had to wish his daughter a happy birthday.

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An African-American is working on math problems and notices an Asian man walking by. The African American asked,"Could you help me out on these math problems?" The Asian man replied, " I have never been good at math."

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was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

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Why didn't the man get into Harvard? Because he had bad grades

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? because it got shot before it could get there.

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Roses are red violets are blue i have HIV you should probably get yourself checked...

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Half a worm... What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being Gang-raped!

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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Why didn't the baby come to daycare? Because his mother got killed by spongebob

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What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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