What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? A tragic drowning victim. And later, food for sharks, probably.

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Q: How many Jews does it take to fix a light bulb? A: 2, one to hold the light bulb and the other to turn the ladder

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with other men other than her husband.

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So a dolphin is dropped off at a park and dies because he was out of the water to long.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas A bike.

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News of the day - David gives back 2 pounds to someone. The police, as he stole from a old nana to pay for a toothbrush

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What do you call a black man who likes watermelon and fried chicken? Someone who likes good food.

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Why didn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing Mittens

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Why is Jesse so fat? A horse, Because a cow gives milk thus creating pee wee Herman to jack off at an astonishing speed

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How do you confuse a blonde? Go up to her and say, "The bookbag coffeepotted the ice cream wedding! Is it gosling for you to rectify this pane of glass and oceans? I won't be able to berry a giant squid before the cows arrive."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Q: What did the racoon say to the cow? A: Nothing, because neither have the extansive intillect to speak in a manner that the other would understand.

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how do you get a scouters power level to 9,000? power levels dont exist in real life therefore cannot reach 9,000

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Q: What do Ethiopians eat at night? A: Nothing.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? An alive one at the bottom eating its way up.

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What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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Why did the janitor commit suicide? He was sick of people's shit.

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A American seeking into mexico

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What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

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4 hours later.

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What is the best joke ever? 1D

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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