What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Why are Pine trees green? Because light reflects at different wavelengths, and the chlorophyll, found in chloroplasts, being abundant in the needles of pine trees, Reflect the correct wavelength for green.

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How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

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Q. What did the Cat say to the Dog? A. "These humans are so jobless.."

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Why was Timmy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Christmas presents.

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How did the Mexican get into the united States of America? He was an american citizen, just of mexican descent.

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What's funnier than 24? 9/11

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What do you call Anne Franks life? A big game of hide and go seek.

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What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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What do dragonflies do when they are a couple? One sits on the others head, causing the bottom dragonfly to have a loss of vision, and increases the weight on the bottom dragonfly, which increases the chance of both the dragonflies deaths.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 beat the crap out of 8.

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A man walks into a bar, he sits down.

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A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

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whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

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What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

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What is black and white and red all over? Zebra domestic violence isn't funny.

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

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Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

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women drivers>asian drivers>asian women drivers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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