One day Jesus said to John, " come forth and recieve everlasting life." Sadly John came in fifth and won a toaster.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? Yeah, he died.

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OK, Billy went to his friend Fred in the tree. And then went inside to get a snack. Then Fred fell out of the Tree and.....landed on a comfy mattress.

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How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

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Why was the blonde so dumb? She had a severe case of dyslexia, which made it difficult to study.

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Yo momma stank so bad, she might have a serious vaginal infection. You should take her to the hospital.

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I've always hated people saying "last one there is a rotten egg" because don't you want to be a rotten egg so you don't get eaten?

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What happened when the Asian girl got a B on her report card? She committed suicide

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What did the child say after the priest touched him? Thank you for the ashes Father, have a blessed Lenten season.

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If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

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Why did the girl call suicide hotline? Cuz he wanted to kill herself.

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? NONE A YO F******G BUSINESS!!!

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What do Ping-Pong and Godzilla have in common? Both of them have nothing to do with budhism.

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Whats black and white and red all over? A dead zebra

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whats the best thing about life? whatever the best thing about life happens to be!

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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What do you call a dog with 3 legs? Just because it has 3 legs dosnt mean you have to call it anything different

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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Why isn't eating an Olympic sport? Because that wouldn't make any sense.

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Why did the chicken cross the road??? Suicide.

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A: If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test? B: A test can be many things: 1. A procedure for critical evaluation; a means of determining the presence, quality, or truth of something; a trial: a test of one's eyesight; subjecting a hypothesis to a test; a test of an athlete's endurance. 2. A series of questions, problems, or physical responses designed to determine knowledge, intelligence, or ability. 3. A basis for evaluation or judgment: "A test of democratic government is how Congress and the president work together" (Haynes Johnson). 4. Chemistry a. A physical or chemical change by which a substance may be detected or its properties ascertained. b. A reagent used to cause or promote such a change. c. A positive result obtained. 5. A cupel. A: Oh.

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Why did the Indian cross the road? Trail of Tears.

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Three fish swim into a bar. The first one says "blub blub blub". The second one says "blub blub blub". The third one says "I'm not a fish I'm a human". What does the bartender say? Answer = Ayy Llmao _George_Bush_

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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