A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do apples and black men both have in common? They are both people except for the apple

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your mamas so fat, she was self-conscious about her weight and became an antisocial vegetable.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

"knock knock" "who's there" "Chuck" "Get out of here Chuck I hate you!"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Get a life besides thumbing down statements telling you advice.........

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the girl fall off the stage? Someone shot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

thumb_up thumb_down +10

An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Want to hear a joke? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? *Pulls out finger gun* *Screams BOOM!*

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have alzheimer's Hey I just met you Coopn8r

thumb_up thumb_down +10

*there was a tv sitting on the side of the road..* person 1: hey why doesn't that tv work? person 2: because it's broken?? person 1: no..because its not plugged in!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q. What do you call a headless boy in a river A. A headless boy, in a river.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what happened to the little girl when she crossed the line she was shot. shes mexican

thumb_up thumb_down +8

"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops