Q:How many cavemans does it take to screw in a lightbulb A: None there was no electricity back then

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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U are with a jew a Christian and a muslim, you walk in chicken shop, thw lights close, and all of a sudden, hitler and a vampire pop up. Which one do you kill? The jew.

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Q. Why did Sarah fall off of the swing? A. She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sarah!

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What's the differnce of victims of Brady and Hindley and a pile of dead babies? Some were born dead and others were raped then killed. Kelvin Yang.

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What goes round and knocks on windows? A paedophile.

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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Are you antijoke.com. Because you are a faggot.

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A black guy stands outside the Tigers stadium with a cigar and tries to sell tickets... noone buys them... I have a comlplete raging boner and I'm gonna go beat off!

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whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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hi jonny

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What do you call a someone who steals from a black guy? A thief.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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womens rights

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whats worse then being married to your dog eating your dog out

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What Sound does a baby make in a blender? I don't know I'm to busy masturbating to it

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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in·fun·dib·u·lum? 1. a funnel-shaped organ or part. 2. a funnel-shaped extension of the hypothalamus connecting the pituitary gland to the base of the brain. 3. a space in the right ventricle at the base of the pulmonary artery.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophobe a blow job

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a pope and priest walk into a bar what's the first thing they say? OUCH my head

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why does it take 2 woman with p.m.t to change a light bulb? because there both tired , feel bloated , and could do with a bar of choccy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops