so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

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Roses Are Potato, Violets Are Booze, Im Irish and i hate Jews.

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Smoke Day, Every Weed.

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Knock knock! Just kidding.

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how do you make a baby stop crying? but hot coals down its throat

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What do you call a really bad band? One with a poor guitar player, a bad bass player, sloppy drums, obnoxious vocals, and all of the songs sound the same. Or Nickelback.

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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Bird is the Word. Actually 'What" is the word.

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Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.

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A boy called Justin bieber fell down a hole and died

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Hickory dickory dock, The mouse ran up the clock, Barbara called the exterminator, Who killed all 10 of them.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

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Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He had his fathers hairy scrote was in his mouth

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Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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What do you get when you cross the motorway with a lottery ticket? You get knocked down and killed.

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Why do so many black athletes drive black cadillac escalades? Because it's roomy and they deserve to reward themselves after they put in so much hard work trying to be the best player they can be.

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Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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Why was Mr. Smith always so sad at the block party? His uncle molested him as a child, when he was 10 he finally told his mother. His mother and father later fought if they should tell the police, the mother wanted him to go to jail, and the dad didn't want to ruin his family because the uncle was his brother, and the uncle had children. Right before his mother would call the police his father stabbed her in the back, mr smith saw what happened. Him and his father hid his mothers body and mr smith"s dad told him if he tells anyone about this he will kill him. Years later when mr smith was 13 he went on drugs to ease the pain, he later became an addict, and dropped out of school. He know suffers from depression and has killed all 3 of his wives. He is wanted in many middle eastern countries. So when ever he goes to sleep he has the same dream were him mom offers him pot and right before he gets it his dad stabs her in the back. So know mr smith is sad at the block party because he will kill himself later tonight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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