A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

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roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

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If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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Poop

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Poems are great but sometimes they don't make refridgerater

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How do you make a tree angry Overall trees have no sense of emotion therefore it is impossible to anger a tree.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

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What do you call it when the Doctor goes back in time to meet himself? A pair o' Docs. What do you call it when Shaquille O'Neil goes back in time to meet himself? Shaquille O'Neil can't go back in time.

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knock knock who's there? A worm, your dead in a coffin.

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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jamie and danel texta like to make love to each other using a gerbal as a toy when they make love they get a african covered in jelly to help them.

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How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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A Jew finally tipped He was in a canoe

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Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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why did the man beat his wife? why not?

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My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

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Fenestrade De Riguerto sat aloft his might horse Bentereuse and called for his brigadiers. At home his wife was opening a package. 2 minutes later a sound could be heard reverberating across the countryside. It was the invasion fleet from Denarus V wiping out humanity

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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