1)Roses are red... 2)5 black men... 3)dead babies walk into a large crowded bar before dissolving into oblivion at the literary incongruency 4)of the whole situation.... 5)yes chicken got to the other side BEFORE me #)stupid chicken (aka duck rose man help....)

A man died and went to heaven. Luckily, he was resuscitated by a trained medical professional, and after a stern warning from his doctor, he lost weight, limited the cholesterol in his diet, and went on to live a very happy and healthy life.

cool

50 gay man and a homophobe are in a nightclub in Florida ...you know how the rest goes.

Why did the mokey board the westbound train? I said gray umbrella noodle head!

What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

Have you ever tripped over a leaf? No. Neither have I.

Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

what do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? last years hide and go seek champion

A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

Jane was playing in the back of the bus with an eyeball...up and down,up and down.An old woman asks her : Jane,what are you doing?She responds : I`m trying to see who`s the driver

Wanna hear something irrational? Pi

A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

Where would canada be without nature? still here

A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

Why is travis so funny? Trick question, He died of cancer 3 years ago.

Women's rights

What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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