Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

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Little boy: Daddy, daddy, I know what i want for Christmas! Dad: Oh really? and whats that? Little boy: I want a bicycle! Dad: Why my son? You are already on a wheelchair...

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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So a blonde a, a red head, and a brunette crash land on an island, they all died within a week...

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How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know what? SCREW YOU!

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Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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What is funnier then 25 9/11

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there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

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They didn't stop pulling my hair i didn't stop pulling the trigger

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there once was a man named china who got stuck in yo mamas vagina he escaped through her butthole minus her butt mole and then died a horrible and painful death

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Q. why did the black man cross the road? A. Cause there is no law saying he cant

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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An American, an Irish man, a Chinese man and a Black man walk in to a Bar, the Bartender takes their order

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What did Anne Frank say to the German Officer? Nothing. She had to keep quiet in a cramp attic in order to survive.

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A Priest a Rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. The rest of the patrons continue to drink until the situation seems less strange.

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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Id like to apologize for the one below (near the end yeah at the very end yeah that near you fuck!) When I said I give candy to etc etc I did mean I do not give candy to... Well... Nothing male, and I do not apologize, thank you. Shortie: Me as a Sociopath vs Sociopath with faster gunplay: So A Sociopath moved into my neighborhood, he arrived at my place and said hey you? You the sociopa... "BOOM" Moral: Shoot first, listen later... And if you hear something keep shooting... Anyway that was not the Sociopath but I got him eventually.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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