Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

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Maybe You'll Find Someone Else To Help You... Maybe Black Mesa... That Was A Joke...Haha...Fat Chance...

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A Pogo Stick

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he saw a Vladimir Putin.

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How did the black guy get knocked out? He was hit by a fridge.

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A Mexican got stopped by the police. Turns out it was a mistake and the man lived a happy life in America

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Why did the hobo break both of his arms? He didn't like them.

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Kinky = using a feather Perverted = using the whole chicken Weird = using chicken bones Downright disgusting = all of the above, plus a cat

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Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? They're really good at it

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What do you call a Gay leprechaun? A homosexual ginger man with a pretty green outfit.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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What did farmer brown say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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whats hard long and you put it in your mouth everyday a toothbrush

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Why don't women have breasts? Because they have dandruff. Get it? Hint: "dandruff" = "dan druff"

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a microwave? If you don't know the difference you need a psychiatrist.

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Q: Why did Jimmy not have balls? A: A terrible, terrible sand paper accident.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

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What did the boy and the dog do at the park? Nothing, the dogs dead

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Why couldnt dylan make it to mike's birthday party? He was killed instantly in a car crash on the way there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops