A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

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Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

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what do u tell a woman who has two black eyes? nothing, somebody already told her twice.

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A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

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how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple ? The Holacoast

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what's worse than waiting 45 minutes in an amusement park ride? getting your penis chopped off.

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Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas?? Nobody knows because he had no arms, therefore he could not open any presents.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

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What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

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What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

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What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

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What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

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why did your mom die? Cuz i killed her

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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Ask me if im a truck are you a truck no

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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