What's brown and smells like shit? My boxers.

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Those that want what is best for me, shall listen to me and do only whatever I want. Those that want ONLY what is best for me, underestimate me greatly. You who stand in the way if my will, claiming you want what is best for me, better move aside.

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your momma so fat.... that as she walked by....... i missed 3 commercials

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roses are blue violets red im color blind vatalk is gay

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Why are black people like jelly beans? Nobody likes the black ones

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A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

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A black man and a mexican jump off a building at the same time, who lands first? Who cares?

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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Q: What did they call the dude who was stuck on a deserted island? A: Incontinent.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus. Why did the bus crash? It hit a boy eating an ice cream cone.

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Why does Beyonc'e sing ''to the left to the left''? Because black women have no rights.

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A Jewish man walkes into grocery store. He buys some groceries, and leaves.

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Whats funny about a blonde, brunette and red-head stranded on an island? Nothing. They are in a very dangerous survival situation, which could prove to be fatal

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How did the little boy fall over? He was tripped up by his alcoholic father.

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I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

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If you are reading this you are a nerd

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why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

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So I said to the man "That's no banana, thats my wife!"

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Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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is the glass of milk half empty or half full it is scientifically proven that these are the same thing. Choosing one over the other is like saying that 1/2 does not equal 1-1/2. A normal person would just see this as an ordinary glass of milk.

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Half life 3 confirmed

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my name is cartman, kyle you're a jew

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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