What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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did you know r kelly and jay z had a album together?

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What's purple and fuzzy? A piece of purple fuzz.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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Mike lost his arms in a car accident. Knock knock Who's there? Not Mike.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Why did the black man drop his weed Because he got shot

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

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Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

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i put a oie in the oven, it baked

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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