Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Malcolm Johnson from Zenith windows, I was wondering if I could speak to you for a while about some fantastic offers which we currently have on double glazed windows....

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia......

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A black man walked out a window of a 20 story building a detective arives at the scene it was night time and he said wheres the body.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

See you later... Just joke I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's black an blue and doesn't like sex? The 8year old in my trunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is black and white and red all over? Zebra domestic violence isn't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Doctor! doctor! I feel like a bridge! That's the least of your problems you've got cancer by ndc

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your mother is so fat that when she jumps into a pool, she displaces a proportionately larger amount of water than people with normal body mass indexes or BMI

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops