Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

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What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? Boyscouts came back from camp

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What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

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-Bumper Sticker- Honk if you love Jesus. (Text while driving if you want to meet him)

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

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Why did the man not get his licence He was blind

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Q: What's worse than biting into and apple and finding a worm? A: being severely malnourished, thus physically inept to do most simple tasks

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What happened after Jimmy fell off the cliff? He died.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

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See you later... Just joke I'm blind

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What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

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Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

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What did the Jew say to the black guy? Hey whatsup?

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Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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