What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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A German, an Irishman, a Mexican and a Texan are flying together on an airplane over the ocean. When the plane begins to experience engine trouble, they find that there is only one parachute for the four of them! Through an amazing display of flying skill, however, the pilot is able to complete the flight and land safely.

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Three men walk in to a bar, One ducked

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Jehovah's Witness. Have you heard the word of God?

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What caused the man to become blind? He took an arrow to the knee.

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A man from timbuktu slept on a bed of nails. It was very uncomforable

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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i'm not random but cheese does get a bit purple if you leave it in your laptop then the battery dies and the sun expands and kills every dodo alive even though they're extinct but that not the point

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

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were did the gay guy go nowere because it was raining outside

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Women's Rights

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

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What's 1+1? 69.

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Why does Santa Clause not have any children? Because he only cums once a year.

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SHUT UP, yes you... WHAT DID I JUST SAY!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops