How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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Hey I Just Met You , And This is Crazy But Don't Text. My Phone Cuz You Stalk Me Daily #Taste_MyCarmel

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Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

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Text Klarens at 317-653-8695. Tell him crazy shit or send crazy pictures.

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Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped in a van

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did you hear about the two peanuts walking down the street? one was raped.

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Stephen Hawkings may know everything about the universe, but try to get him to tie his shoes.

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What's similar between the Alabama Crimson Tide and a maggot? They've both been feeding off of a dead Bear for 30 years...

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Banana Yoshimoto. A popular Japanese author of the book, Kitchen. She is incredibly talented and it would be a great honor to have her in your house, so you should open your door.

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Why did the piece of gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

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Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

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asians have slitted eyes lol

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what did spiderman say before he saved mary jane? ill save you mary jane.

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…What did you put in the drink that made me fart, and kill my horse?

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

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Why is the Asian 2nd grader sad? Her best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has 3 weeks to live.

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Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

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why did the cow go to the theater? to see the new movies pick one and have a good time.

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What did the African-American toddler from Compton get for his birthday? Most likely nothing, seeing as his father left his mother briefly after his birth, and his mother uses all of her money to feed her heroin addiction.

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Knock Knock Whos There? I'p I'p who? HAHAHAHA

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? it has no legs.

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"Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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