Who in Tyrone's black family gave him presents on christmas? Not his dad.

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

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* Are you deaf? * Yes, as I love paradoxes.

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Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Where is the bathroom, I need to go poo.

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What do Lebron James and Bill Murray have in common? They are both black basketball players. Except for bill murray

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

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Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

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What look likes a rocket, uses Mc Donalds wifi and takes off from Fairlawns Avenue Kevins House not instigating it was all Taggart

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what did the woman say when the guy told her he liked her christmas tree? thank you.

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Why did the naked blonde crossed the road? Because she a man

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The last person on Earth is sitting home alone when suddenly there is a knock at the door. Knock knock Who's there? *silence* Damn this joke got creepy...

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Roses are red violets are blue your dads got hair what happened to you

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Knock knock? Who's there? Not Schrodinger's cat, or is it?

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Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb, one to suck my dick!

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There once was a girl who took away my source of entertainment. Her name was Nicole.

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Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

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How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool then don't let her come up for air.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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