Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

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Why was the little Asian boy crying at the county fair? He had just watched his entire family get brutally crushed beneath the weight of the old ferris wheel as they went to get on. Never would he forget the painful screams of his mother as her blood splashed onto his white t-shirt. Never would he forget the police car ride to the foster home when it all sank in that they were truly gone. And never would he forget the abuse his new parents would inflict on him daily. But what would forever torment him most were those screams. Those persistent screams that woke him in the night until the day he died many, many years later.

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roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

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ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

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WHATS A GREAT RAVE TUNE KANE !!!!! TUCKER !!!!!!!! DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why wouldn't Rose let go of Jack? Freddie told her that he was just a poor boy and nobody loves him.

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How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

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Knock Knock who's there its black george washington.

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knock knock whoses there whose home whoses home who? you

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KCLTLMBAIMWSSHTCAWGAHW

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The elephant moonwalked. On the moon.

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

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A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

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Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

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VITAMIN C!

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se* is like math add the couple minus the clothes add the cream and just hope they dont multiply

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

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Why do new moms put "BABY ON BOARD" stickers on the backs of their cars? No reason. Hitting someone's car baby inside or not is against the law and very dangerous for passengers of any age.

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Wanna know what I don't get? I was gonna say yo face, but that would be mean.

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Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

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When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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