What's black, white and red all over? A race war

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What do you get when you cross a spider with a cow? A dead spider.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

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whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

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How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

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Why was the bus company sued? For substandard national safety regulations

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, there are many theories as to why the aforementioned chicken crossed the aforementioned road. The most plausible is that the chicken was wandering around, when it came upon a road. Being a chicken, it did not know the dangers of crossing it, and proceeded to.

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Q: How do you do to get an elephant down from a tree? A: Wait for the fall when the leaves start falling you shoot it down.

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I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

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What's the best Anti-Joke ever? I don't know, but it's NOT this one.

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what is big and white? Your Mom

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? An ambulance.

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Whats blue, fuzzy and has little red dots all over? Beats me...

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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what worse then stepping on a lego? watching your son kill your wife

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Guy 1:Whats the difference between a towel and toilet paper? Guy2: I dont know Guy : SO IT WAS YOU!

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Apple hates Blackberry.

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Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

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Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

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whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

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What does a chicken get for Christmas? A trip to the processing plant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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