Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

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So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

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A hooker walks into a bar. She orders a few drinks and leaves. She's a man.

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A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

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Why is the Asian 2nd grader sad? Her best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has 3 weeks to live.

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

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what did the duck say to the other duck Quack

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What do you call a bunch of white people walking down a cliff? Avalanche

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What do a blonde and a good beer have in common? They both go down easy.

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What do you call a gay man having sex with a woman? Sex.

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Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

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A girl and her friend got into a fight. They both bled to death.

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How many people does it take to paint an elementary school red? 27.

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A woman walks up to a man in a supermarket and asks him where she can find the potatos. He says "I think they are all the way at the end on aisle 3" "Thanks" she says. Then she gets to aisle 3, and there aint no potatos!!!!

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BAr intO a wAlks… sorry I wrote that joke after walking out of a bar.

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What do you get when you cross an owl, with a bungee cord?..... My ass.

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Your mama is so fat, we are all seriously concerned about her health.

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Why did Hitler Commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed by the fact he had lost World War II.

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Why did 5 members of the Al-Qaeda walk into the bank? To make 5 seperate cash withdrawals

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what starts with f and ends with c k....???? FIRETRUCK

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A praying mantis is very graceful

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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