Mikey : I wan to divorce. Miney :are u funking crazy Mikey : no I'm funking dazy !

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What's read,bubbly and looks out the window? A baby in a microwave

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A blonde goes to school, and completes a difficult math problem.

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Boy: Excuse me, do you have a cigarette? Man: First let me see your ID. Boy: I don't have an ID Man: Well, how much money do you have? Boy: 50 cents Man: Sorry, I don't have any cigarettes. Boy: Good job, I'm actually undercover cop and you sir are a good citizen for not giving a minor cigarettes. Man: Cool, do I get a reward? Boy: Yes, you will receive a good citizen award and free $50 coupon. Man: Thank you! Boy: Can I have a cigarette now? Man: I wasn't lying when I said I didn't have any cigarettes. Boy: Okay, have a nice day.

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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why did the boy scream? because he got shot.

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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A man offered a little boy a ride home. He drove the boy home where his father preceeded to beat him senseless.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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whats every colour and loved by everyone Mario

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he accidently dropped it.

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what do you call a brown man that has been repeatedly shanked and has been fucked up the arse by 10 Rag heads in one night and thrown in a well to slowly and painfully die? Lloyd.

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Q: Why didn't the bunny eat the carrot? A: The bunny didn't have any carrots. Poor bunny.

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a man with a scar on his right hand walked in to a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x z y.

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What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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Where did Suzy go after the explosion? - Everywhere.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Tennis? Tennis who? Tennis Racket

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? The F word but im not allowed to say it.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They scolded her and sent her to her room.

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Q. How do you know when you've had too much too drink? A. Your dead(No because when your dead you can't think.)

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q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops