Godilla walks into a bar. There were no survivors.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what happens if you fart to hard? A.you shit yourself

thumb_up thumb_down -24

You heard now that you can not only bet safe at net casinos, but also win safely? Win safely? The hell does that mean? You mean you could win unsafely before? Like the betting casino crashing after you win a million? Moral: That crap is even less moral than I am ffs! Now they give you like 5000 game bucks free just to get you addicted.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I'm not sure if you share videos, but this is a great anti-joke vid. Thank you for the consideration. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHydNGR9rrg

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you call a jewish womans boobs? JUBES!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what is red, white, and spins around real fast? a baby in a washing machine

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's the worst part about anti jokes? They get boring after a while

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why shouldn't 6 guys sleep naked in the same bed? They would not fit

thumb_up thumb_down -26

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Chuck Norris was so good at karate that he held the middle weight world title for 6 years and was named fighter of the year by Black Belt Magazine. He also used his talents to start a successful acting and advertising career.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A man walks into a bar. Sup.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the frog say to the other frog Your a chode

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the boy who was in a chainsaw accident yell to his mom when he was on a rollercoaster? Look ma, no hands!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

while having sex, the boy asked, "how many ears do elephants have?" his father answered, "two"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Get on the boat.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: my red painted d*ck

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why couldnt the man find his wallet? He didnt have one

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you call a child sitting alone in the back of a bus? Anti-social and on the verge of depression.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops