What do Tom Cruise and Santa Claus have in common? They're both Tom Cruise.

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What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

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Why didn't the dog come to his master when it was called? It didn't have any legs.

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How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

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whats pink, brown, and smells like a banana. monkey vomit?

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What's worse than a worm in your apple That one time I rapped and killed your mom, oh and happy birthday prick

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What's worse than hitting your funny bone? Nothing

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Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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What are the similarites between Autistic people and dead people? They are both very poor in social situations

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What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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whats worse than 10 babies nailed to a tree? one baby nailed to ten trees.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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Light travels faster than sound, thats why people look smart until they talk.

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knock knock whos there open open who the door

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

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Mail Man: *Knocks on door* Guy & Girl: WHAT?! *laughing* Mail Man: Mail! Guy & Girl: Hold on she is almost done with the whip cream.

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what did one lady say to another lady we are both ladies

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How do you blind an Asian man You stab him six times in each eye socket and drop cyan pepper in his eye wound.

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Why does a new mother have big jugs? Her baby died of Sudden infant death syndrome.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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