Help me I need to know how to cook a human fetus by tomorrow does anyone know any good recipes?

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BLACK PEOPLE! (im black so its not racist)

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ecks! why zee?

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Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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.Ttwo guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked.

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jews

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WHATS BROWN AND SMELLS LIKE CRAP!?!?!?!?!?!?!? crap

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? Magic.

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Why was the Mexican running? He was being chased by border patrol!

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Why didn't Sebastian get out of the forest? Because he got brutally murdered by a big bad wolf

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what is my catphrase nothing I am too good to have one

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Knock knock. I have a doorbell...

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What did the two best friends do before the asteroid hit the Earth? They hugged each other goodbye.

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Yo momma so ugly, except she's not. She's looking beautiful today.

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You know whats annoying? Steve

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

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How do you get a horse to stop humping your leg? Pick it up and suck its dick.

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^ That's not even funny ^

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its neck.

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Bob: This joke is so hilarious but you must start off by saying knock knock. Tom: okay... Knock knock Bob: who's there? Tom: ...... Bob: well? Tom: I don't know what to say??? Bob: so the joke left ya speechless!

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Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

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What did the world's greatest bowler say when he got a gutterball? "Spare me the irony!" Get it? It's because he's made of metal.

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I hate Mondays, the man said as he drove to work. Fortunately for him, it was a Wednesday.

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Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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