a man decided to climb a tree. he got to the top,raised his arms above his head and said "I am on top of the world ". after that he fell because he was not holding on to anything

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Why'd the girl fall off her bike? She rode over a curb

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Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

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What do you call a lubia chin jew slave? Kia

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When life gives you a pack of Kools, make Kool-Aid.

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what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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Why did old Mary fall off the cliff? There were no brakes on her wheelchair

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the waterhorse is a beautiful creature. It often frolics through fields of wheat.

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why do jews like money? So they can support their family.

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why did the family have dinner? they were hungry and it was 6:00

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Why did the elephant cross the road? To run away from the angry chicken who was mad that he was slacking off work.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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you go up your hole down your hole between your hole and you rock and roll

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what does wtf stand for? what? i was asking you!

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

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life is like a box of chocolates... it doesnt last long for fat peopl

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What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One of them says, "Man, it sure is hot in here." and the other muffin replies, "Yep." They later die a horrid and painful death as their flesh gets burned into a nice golden brown crisp.

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What did dyslexic Old McDonald say? . . . I have a learning disability that impairs my fluency and comprehension accuracy in being able to read and spell

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Life on the line? I just do it for the kill and the potential savage rape and consumption! And yeah, a man is not a man but a boy if he cant protect his lady friends. HEY WAIT A FUCKING MOMENT! Why you playing so hard to get now? YOUR FLESH IS MINE! It is just like a billion pages ago where we where talking VERY down and dirty.

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How do you have fun while stuck in traffic? Play bumper cars!

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what is the difference between lizzy and a momma hippo........ lizzy doesnt bathe.

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Why did the chicken cross the road It was being dragged to the other side by fox It's the way of life _._._

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops