what is the difference between lizzy and a momma hippo........ lizzy doesnt bathe.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man walks into a bar with an MP5 and proceeds to fire thirteen bullets into a crowd of people, several unarmed bystanders attempt to disarm the gunman but they are promptly ordered to stay back or they too would be fired on, a witness reports gunfire coming from down the street to local emergency services and they arrive quickly, organising a perimeter around the bar, county sherriffs decide it would be safest to wait for a swat team, as reports indicated the gunman may have hostages, however the gunfire appears to have ceased an noone has entered or exited the building since police arrived on scene. As SWAT arrives on scene and media helicopters circle above, a person emerges from the bar and the gunman appears behind him, he shoots and kills the hostage and then turns the gun on himself, the death toll reached sixteen including the gunman and as many as fourteen people were injured. there was no clear motive to the massacre, but a search of his appartment indicated he was tired of one-liners on typical joke sites and felt his wife's betrayal with his best friend was too much to bare and he simply snapped after losing his job in the current economic situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you have fun while stuck in traffic? Play bumper cars!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

life is like a box of chocolates... it doesnt last long for fat peopl

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A gay guy asks a boy out and a girl The girl said no but the guy said yes And the two gay guys went to dinner And made out

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between an American and a British guy? Their fingerprints.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A black, white, Asian, and Mexican are walking down the street. This is showing a good diverse community.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did sarah fall of the swing? she has no arms. Knock knock. whos there? not sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you get when you cross a Mexican and an African? A baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "GESTAPO! AUFMACHEN!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did peter griffin say to the black guy? Oh you are black.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a person with 4 arms? A normal person. (fore arms) (meant to be audible)

thumb_up thumb_down -6

YO MAMA'S SO , A STUPID, THAT SHE PUT 2 QUARTERS IN HER EARS AND THOUGHT THAT SHE WAS LISTENING TO FIFTY-CENT!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why are black people like trees? Because they fall down if you hit them multiple times with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What was the little boys least favorite part of Christmas? Getting raped by his uncle.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I saw a black dude eating fried chicken a white guy said he wanted some but the black guy said don't put your white mayonnaise on my fried delicious KFC fried chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Ok soo theres a Jewish Guy, a Christian Guy and a Gay Guy. The Jewish Guy goes Amen The Christian Guy goes Ámen The Gay Guy goes Ammeeeennn

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops