Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

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why did the car go to the bathroom? it had gas.

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

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y was man afaid of fire?, cuz its hot

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? YOU'RE UNDER ARREST! GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR! NOW!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

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What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

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What is a dyslexic mathematician's favourite song? Angels. [L]

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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what did the prostitute say to the black man after they had sexual intercourse? I have aids

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whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

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Knock Knock No one's home Okay, I'll come back later.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

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Pee is yellow Shit is? brown My shit is yellow WTF

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops