As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

Why can't the black guy read? Because he's blind.

A blonde, a red head, and a brunette are on an island. Due to the law of averages, this isn't that unlikely or significant.

old people are like slinkies...they arent really good for anything but brings a smile to ur face when they're pushed down the stairs...just think about it ;)

What page are you on The gay page.

roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

Why is it scientifically proven that even Spider-Man would be a match for Superman? Because none exist. Moral: The only Super Hero... not scientifically proven, but I exist so that makes me stronger than both of them!

Did you know that Obama wasn't born in the United States*? *the contiguous United States

- How do you save a black man from drowning? - I don't know - Good!

Why did I deleted brian from my friend list ? Cuz he had brain tumor.

Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? None, any dog aware of the situation would kindly inform its owner.

Why can't Ray Charles read? Cuz he is blind You illiterate uneducated racist bastard trying to say it was because he was black.

Knock-Knock Who's there? The The Who? The Beatles!

Hey are you sleepy? Good, cause I just saw Jeff The Killer and Slenderman outside your window. Good night!

j.p. is dumb

Yo mama's so fat that when she went to go get an x-ray, they had to use the one they have at the zoo.

Q:What happens when you mix Justin Bieber with a women? A: Well, since is a very highly impossible circumstance, I have no need to give a name for this.

What do you get when a sister and a brother have sex? A deformed child.

patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

What did the coworker say about the new girls butt Nothing be cause he was quite the gentleman and wanted to be respectful ts the woman as she already had enough problems such as being hit by a bus and dying.

Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it's not gonna

How many dead babies does it take to paint a car? It depends on how fast you drive.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Whos there Not Susie What did Susie get for Christmas? I don't know , she never opened it. Who high fived Susie? No one Why did Susie die? She got shot in the face

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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