How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

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What did the boyfriend ask his girlfriend for on his birthday? Pokemon Yellow version.

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I'm a Banker. A woman asked if I could check her balance... So I pushed her off a cliff.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says, I'm sorry but you have about four to six months to live. The man goes home and checks his million dollar life insurance policy.It expires in three months.

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I get more excited then my dog when I give her a treat

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what is the best invention ever created ? ............ PORN !!!!

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Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

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the wild black man is searching for food. He spots a KFC, and goes wild. He then proceeds to get in line.

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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How to smash an apple Iphone <<<<<< Use A Hammer >>>>>>> PS : if u want to break a hammer use an iphone

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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My dog has no nose, how does it smell? Using its anus.

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What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

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What do you call a woman in the kitchen? Her name.

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What's the difference between a chicken and a bartender? A chicken is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the red junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more chickens in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep chickens primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs. A bartender is a person who mixes and serves alcoholic drinks at a bar. also bar-tender ; 1836, American English,

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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Why did Johnny throw the clock out the window? His parents are never around to supervise him.

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Q: Who was shot 50 years ago? A: Abraham Lincoln was shot 50 years ago! (=

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What is red and ragging? A Hemorrhoid

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Knock knock Who's there? *silence* WHO'S THERE? *silence* -Looks out window- Slenderman

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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Why did the Jewish cross the road? He didn't he died in Holocaust.

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what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

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hi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops